A Very Sirius Problem   2 comments

A problem popped up the moment I drove my new car off the lot. But it’s only temporary. Come August it will vanish into thin air. How can I be so certain? Because that’s when my 90-day free trial subscription to satellite radio will expire.

Having three free months of free satellite radio is a heavy load to bear. So many stations, so little time. Did I mention it’s free?

Free Day One

On the Lot

I listen politely as my sales person goes over the small details she thinks are important – the location of the gas tank lock release, how to fold down the back seats, or since this is my first key-less entry car, which buttons to push on the little magic twanger. But within this polite shell, an impatient toe-tapping control freak grips the steering wheel biding my time until I can drive off the lot and set  my stations.

On the Way to Work

All six FM stations set and I haven’t even reached the entrance ramp to the parkway. An all-time record. Thank goodness for red lights. But this is only a dry run.  I have Sirius research to do.

Lunch-time

I unfold the map-like Sirius XM brochure and lay it out on my desk. 170 channels. Be still, my heart.  90 days? Uh-oh. Can I get my money’s worth? (so to speak)? Let’s see

Live Sports? every MLB game, Is Detroit included? I would like to hear Tigers’ games. But then, no, I’m not going to be in the car for every game and certainly not for the whole two hour stretch. It’s not worthy of a  pre-set. I can listen as needed. And if I don’t need baseball, I certainly don’t need every NHL, NFL,NBA or college sports game.

Exclusive Entertainment ? Hmm what’s this?

  • Howard Stern? He gave me enough boiling-over blood pressure when he was on AM. No thanks
  • Oprah? I’m probably the only person  who never even saw one Oprah!, so if I never saw her, why should I listen. No thanks
  • Martha Stewart? Hmm, I like Martha. She knows the names of the most esoteric cooking utensils you never knew existed, let alone thought you needed. If Martha’s going to show me how to use little thingy to get the meat out of the walnut after I crack it open, I should be seeing, not listening. No thanks

With Live Sports and Exclusive Entertainment off my list I’m breathing a bit easier. Let’s see.

World-class News plus Local Traffic and Weather.

  • Nope, I like my news served on paper.
  • I like seeing those weather maps and graphics even if the meteorologist is standing in front of them.
  • And as for traffic. By the time a traffic snafu makes its way onto the radio I’m either already  in the middle of it, or it’s all cleared up.

Laugh-0ut- Loud Comedy. No, my singing out loud is enough to make people laugh

Commercial Free Music– Now that’s what I’m talking about. I fold back the rejected panels and flatten out the remaining sections on my desk.  I don’t like classical or country; Pass on dance/electronic. Christian?  Foreign language? No and No. That leaves Rock, Pop, and Jazz. I fold back, and out of sight, the pop and jazz sections. I don’t need any distractions

The Grateful Dead Channel? Pearl Jam Radio? E street RadioChannel Margaritaville? I love Bruce and Jimmy, and enjoy the Dead and the Jams but that’s like listening to albums.  I like the element of  surprise while I drive.

Oops my lunch hour is almost over. I grab the guide and run outside to the parking lot. Let’s see I guess I have to push this selector marked  XM. Okay, now for the stations.

Classic Vinyl, 60’s and 70’s Rock? Okay – button 1

Boneyard, Classic Hard Rock? Umm hmm! – button 2

Hair Nation, 80’s Hair Bands? Alllll Riiiiight!!!!! – button 3

Liquid Metal , Heavy Metal XL. What’s XL? I’ll try it – button 4

Soul Town, Classic Soul/Motown – that’s a good change of pace – button 5

The Joint, Reggae – Ya Mon! – button 6

I can hardly wait for the ride home!

 Free Day Five (Saturday – errand day)

I’m not sure if I’m making the most out of this free trial. I think it’s time to try new stations. As long as  I’m here in Kohl’s parking lot, let me get out that brochure

60’s on 6.

Oh, isn’t that cute, the peace symbol in the middle of the 0.  60’s pop hits with Cousin Brucie. Didn’t he die? Well, let’s give it a try.

‘70’s on 7.

You know, the 60’s were fun , but the 70’s, those were my glory days.

Wow look 80’s on 8.

My years in  San Jose.

90’s on 9.

Why not!

I like the soul and reggae.  I’ll keep them.Next stop Walmart.

Free Days Six – Thirteen

I love my commute.   Choose a decade and almost every song is a trip back in time.

  I Got you, Babe

1965

I’m in my freshman dorm. My room-mate, Regina and I are figuring out when it’s Sonny singing and when it’s Cher


Just the Way You are

 1979

The first dance at my wedding and the band leader is channeling Billy Joel

Start Me Up

1981

Oh my God, Mick Jagger, right there on the field below us.  We left the house at six to get up here to Candlestick Park. But snagging these seats make it all  worthwhile.

Tears in Heaven

1993

The dreaded call  at 2:20 AM.  My brother has surrendered to his cancer. As I fly home to NY, I look down through the billowing mounds of white blanketing the Rockies. Jim feels close by. Can heaven really be up in the clouds?  Synchronicity strikes via my Walkman and I hear Eric Clapton  in my ear. He’s wondering too.


Free Day 15.

“La-dee da dee da ..When you call my name, it’s like a little prayer, ”  Oops here’s my exit.

This is the only Madonna song I like. Reminds me of my MTV midlife crisis. What a video…… and then there was the Super Bowl half time show this year ……when  that big guy in the  flowing cape rose up through the stage!  At first I thought it was that  Vogue editor guy   –   Andre something something.  But then I realized it was the guy from The Voice – Cee Jay? No, Cee Lo something………

 

………..Look at that police car! He’s  right on my tail………… Now he has his lights going and the siren whoop whooping. Me?

 

“Yes officer? ”

“You know you went through that Stop sign back at the corner, Ma’am.  Do you have a reason for that?”

“No, sir.”

I  do have reason, a Sirius one but I don’t think divulging it would further my case.

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2 responses to “A Very Sirius Problem

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  1. Uh Oh! I didn’t see that ending coming! So much music…so little time 🙂

    • Yes, looks like it’s not free at all. Had I been paying it would have been $12.95 a month. At three months it would have come to $38.85. I haven’t been told yet what my ticket will cost but it will be at least $100. (Been there, done that, before!)

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